Ratchet's Dilemma
by Retired 5.01.2012
Summary: On one pleasant evening, after the war, the autobots and their humans are stargazing. What happens when Sophie starts asking questions about the autobots and babies? SamXBee implied. Lots of sugary fluffiness!


Well, since I had lots of lovely reviews for my first ever story, I think I'll make a sequel of sorts. It's silly, pointless, and all around chock-full of sugar-induced coma-causing fluff. I think I'll kill Mikaela off. I don't like her very much. But it is: SamXBee implied. Lots of silliness. Wee! Let's just pretend that the war is over and stuff. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to the lovely film "Transformers", or the comics, or cartoons. The only thing I own is Sophie. Woohoo!

"So, Ratchet…" I said, making myself comfortable against his knee. We were up at the lookout where Sam and Bee hung out. A lot. I wonder if there's something going on between them? I mean, Sam and Bee are ALWAYS together, Bee is the ONLY topic Sam cares to discuss, and Sam is the ONLY topic Bee talks about. I felt my evil smile starting to tug at the corners of my mouth.

"Yes, Sophie?" he asked, taking a swig of pinkish energon.

"How are robot babies made?" I asked, picking at the grass underneath us. The energon that was in Ratchet's mouth found a new home against the back of Bee's head. Bee almost dropped Sam as he whirled around, incredulous at my audacity and Ratchet's temporary loss of self-control.

"I do not believe that that is an entirely appropriate topic," Ratchet said, wiping his chin off. He sent Bee an apologetic look. Bee, however, was focused on the blushing boy- no, man (saving the world from sure destruction counts as something, right?), in his hand. Sam was muttering about inappropriate questions and situations and how exactly duct tape should be used to silence me.

"But, you're a medic! You shouldn't be embarrassed to discuss this topic!" I protested, frowning up at him and crossing my arms.

Silence. I could hear a few crickets chirping.

"Well, are there girl robots?"

"Yes…."

"So you do make little robots, right?"

"Nooo…not like humans. You see, when a male-bot and a fem-bot love each other enough, they decide that they wish to create an offspring. They go down to the local hardware store and pick up the parts they wish to use to customize their offspring and then they build it together. The robot created is not a child nor does it have to mature. It is fully grown when it is built."

"Gotcha." I replied, lying back and staring at the stars. It must have been a funny picture – giant robots with their puny, squishy human counterparts, gazing up at the stars. I snuck a glance over at Bee and Sam. Sam was lying on his side across Bee's chest, the robot's hand beside him. I almost squealed when Sam blushed as Bee looked down at him. I giggled when Bee purred softly as Sam stroked his armor. My mind started deciding how to ask Ratchet about that without being killed by Bee. Or Sam. I figured that Sam'd beat me senseless before Bee finally smushed me with his thumb, like an ant or something.

"Well. What about…erm…never mind." I started, but I didn't finish. I figured I wouldn't interrupt such a sweet little moment.

"Do continue. I don't mind answering any questions that you may have about autobots as long as you are willing to answer any questions we may have about humans." Ratchet said, not once taking his gaze from the sky. I figured that revenge is best served cold. Sam had played a prank on me a few weeks ago. He knew that I was terrified of spiders and he had Bee convince me that there were giant, bloodsucking mechanical spiders out in outer space. Then he said that had seen them on radar and that they were after me. Anyway. Back on track.

I stood up, walked around to Ratchet's audio sensor, and whispered as quietly as I could, "So if autobots feel pain, do they feel other things? Like, if someone stroked the leather in your interior?" Ratchet sat up rather quickly and shot me a look. I pointedly looked away. I always wondered why the two cars purred when someone accidentally brushed their leather interior…

"What's going on over there, you two?" came the teasing call from Sam.

"Sophie wishes to discuss things that I am not comfortable discussing." Ratchet growled, leaning back against the rather large boulder he had been resting on, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Fine," I said, sticking my tongue out at him, "I'll go ask Ironhide." I turned and started walking toward aforementioned robot. I barely made it ten feet before I found myself staring down at the ground, which was far away.

"Now listen, Sophie. That is not something that we discuss in public. Ironhide won't be as kind as I have been. He will most likely blast you with a plasma cannon. So, cease asking such personal questions and be quiet, before I lose my patience." Ratchet said, shaking me a little in the palm of his hand.

"Shaken human syndrome!" I screamed, flopping around limply in his hand.

Before I could continue my tirade of how Ratchet was murdering me, I was interrupted quite rudely by Sam and Bee laughing at me. Ironhide rolled his eyes and continued discussing weapons and war tactics with Captain Lennox. I pouted. I dramatically sighed and said, "Well, I guess I'll never know…" I started muttering under my breath about how Ratchet didn't love me, etc…

Ratchet sighed and said, "Fine, if you must know, every single time you have stroked the leather interior of my seats, I have felt it. And it is most definitely not pain that I felt." I turned bright red. "Eh…I'll try not to do it again, ok?"

"It doesn't bother me," he said simply, looking back up at the sky. I grinned evily. "So what is it considered when someone 'tunes' your engine, eh?"

Bee spluttered and said, "That is an extremely personal question! Ratchet, put her in stasis and save us these incessant questions!"

"I'm just curious, Bee…and it isn't like anyone's tuned yours, eh?" I said, smirking smugly at him and Sam, who blushed and covered his face. Both of them fell silent.

I then said quietly, "I think it's extremely sweet…" Sam and I exchanged knowing smiles before we fell silent.

The stars were twinkling brightly that night.


End file.
